6 Signs You're Ready To Date Again
If you think you’re ready to date again, this is one of the sure-fire signs that you are indeed prepared. If you’re prepared to dive into the dating scene and even a relationship there are a few ways to know if you’re truly prepared.
You find yourself daydreaming about having a boyfriend (all the freaking time)
When your mind’s not occupied thinking about bills, work, what to make for dinner, or picking up the kids . . . Your mind wanders. And it wanders in the direction of making out with a man again or going on a date. Or having a bath drawn for you by your new imaginary boyfriend.
Imagining the good things about being in a relationship again is one way to know you’re ready to get back on the online dating wagon again. On the flip side— if you’re always thinking about how your ex did you wrong or you have the mentality that all men are crap, then you might not be ready to date quite yet.
Another sign you’re ready for dating if you’re open to trying something new
Your friends might have suggested getting online to meet someone. If in the past you resisted the idea, but now you’re warming up to it get your lipstick on! It sounds like it’s time to look your best and have your girlfriend take some photos of you for your online dating profile!
You think that most people are good people
Of course, nobody is perfect. But if you can look around and see the good in country people most of the time, you’re getting yourself ready to date again. Even if someone has said something that upset you, you can put yourself in their boots.
You know that people (even the good ones) have hurts from the past and sometimes say things they don’t mean. In a heated argument when emotions are high is when injuries come out, and people say things that are hurtful and defensive.
If you know this is the case, you understand human nature and are willing to accept people for their imperfections.
You are working on forgiveness
Even if you’ve been through a horrible divorce or a breakup, you are trying to forgive your ex for causing you any pain. If you are unwilling to forgive your ex, you’ll carry that baggage into your next relationship.
Forgiveness is a process and doesn’t always happen overnight. It takes time. You’re giving yourself the space to forgive people who have hurt you, and you’re learning to let go. This is another sign you’re ready to date again.
Owning your part of any relationship troubles is a step in the right direction that you’re ready to be in love again
If placing blame on your ex is your go-to, it’s time to own up your own actions too. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango, or maybe in your case line dance. Unless you were with a narcissist or a psychopath and were dating a farmer or married to a mostly normal functioning person, you probably have things you could have done differently.
When people are in relationships and feeling loved, is when you feel safe enough to start healing old wounds you may have buried. If your mentality was or is “Suck it up buttercup,” you've probably got some old processed hurts that will come up eventually.
If your ex hit a sore spot with, it hurt, and you lashed out at him, this could hurt him as well.
When people lash out with anger, there is always fear underneath the surface. When you understand this, you have more understanding of human nature than most people.
You can stop believing things about men and yourself that are not true
Some women believe myths that just are not true. Here are is a list of the myths many women think about men.
All the good men are taken
This is not true. There are millions of good single men online. I personally know hundreds, and I live in a small town. Get your butt online and start meeting some of them! Go out with some men you might not be initially attracted to online. You may have serious chemistry with someone who looks like they’ve had a few too many french fries in their life.
Sex will make a man fall in love
In a man’s mind, love and sex aren’t always connected. A man can have sex with someone he doesn’t even like, let alone love. If you have noticed yourself in the past sleeping with a man and wondering why he left, slow it down. Make sure you’re a good fit before you get busy with him. Every man doesn’t want the same things you do. Get to know him.
A man should spend all of his time me
If you want a man who has no life, no friends, no job or no kids, this could work out for you for about a week. Of course, spending time with someone you are into is great, but if you’re up each other’s butts every second of every day, it’s not healthy. Part of having a good relationship is to have your own lives. So when you come back together again, you’re actually excited to see each other.
I got ghosted because he’s a dirtbag
Lots of men (and women) ghost people they’ve met online because of several different reasons. He might not be good with conflict. Or he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
Maybe he ’s a plain old coward. Some men have even been abused by women, and they’re scared of letting it happen again. Or he might have connected with someone who is a better fit for what he’s looking for.
I can change him
Let’s say a man tells you he isn’t looking for something serious, he probably means it. Don’t think that your magical panties will make him want to commit to you and have babies. Many women tell themselves things like “Once he sees how amazing we are together, he won’t want to date anyone else.”
This falsehood will make it harder for you than catching an oiled pig. Men who genuinely care about a woman can change, but it’s their choice. You can’t make a man do anything.
I need to lose weight before I’m ready to date again
Losing fifteen pounds could be in your future, and if you think that will make you feel good about yourself, go for it. But there are men out there who like all kinds of body shapes and sizes.
Even your size! After all, a healthy relationship isn’t just physical, it’s emotional, mental and even spiritual. There’s also body chemistry involved. Being confident looks good on every body size. So rock what you’ve got!
I’ve got to give him more than he gives me
This lie women tell themselves end up giving the man nothing to do. This, in turn, can make him feel like he owes you something. Feeling indebted to someone never increases attraction.
A deep feeling inside a man that makes him feel like you do more than he does diminishes the fun for him — of chasing you! Let a man make plans, and give to you more than you give him. If he buys you dinner, you can pick up the coffee the next day. Men like to feel like they can provide. Let him have this.
Having a man in my life will make me feel complete
Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire said, “I love you. You complete me,” to a teary Renee Zellweger. Hollywood’s had it wrong all along. You complete you, and you are in charge of making yourself happy.
As John Gray the author of Men Are From Mars, said, Women, Are From Venus says, “A man cannot make a woman happy. He can only make her happier.” Making yourself happy is your job. If you expect a man to do that for you, it’s too much pressure.
Men are only after one thing (SEX)
Ridiculous. Of course, there are plenty of men out there who would trade sexual favors for handyman work around your house. But that’s not all they want.
Men are complex creatures too. According to Psychology Today, There are men out there who are cuddle monsters and like to watch romantic comedies. Some of them would even rather have a girlfriend with a good personality or a woman who can shoot a gun. These traits are more important to them than a hot body.
All guys are the same
No man is exactly like the next guy. You, me and all the men and women have different needs, wants and desires. You just have to find the guy who has similar values and desires that you have.
There is a man out there for you. If you’re ready to date again and even find love, you’ve got to put yourself out there. Get online. Tell your friends to set you up. Go to picnics. Take a different route home from work and meet someone in a neighboring town’s grocery store.
When you let go of the myths you’ve been carrying around and see yourself thinking “There’s a guy out there for me,” know that you are right. He’s out there waiting for you! Steal these easy online dating messages to attract the right guy online!
Dina Colada is dating coach who has appeared on MSN, YourTango and Women’s Health. She helps singles date the smart way. Get her free love-attracting book and audio tracks at DinaColada.com
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